The Marriage Code & the Life of a Servant Writer/Speaker Couple

Bill and Pam Farrel are best-selling authors and international speakers.  With 30 book to their credit, inlcuding Men Are Like Waffeles and Women Are Like Spagetti, they are still fired up about helping marriages thrive. What I most appreaciate about this Servant Writer/Speaker couple is their passion to help build strong marriages and guide up-and-coming writers whom they mentor.  With a packed writing and international speaking schedule, Bill and Pam still make time to help those of us who share a calling to serve God and others through the power of the written and spoken word.  In this interview, Bill and Pam share about their writing and speaking life and why they are excited about what their new book, The Marriage Code, will do for marriages around the world.

Why do you see yourselves as servant writers?

Writing (and speaking) to serve isn’t glamorous; but we do it to serve God and others. Maybe this true story will illustrate a typical day in the life of a Servant Writer/Speaker Couple: Flight into Florida is late while our luggage sits on tarmac in torrential rain storm. Finally, we get to the hotel in Florida at 1 am, but our luggage doesn’t make it in till 2:00 am—too late (or too early) to be delivered to the hotel. The key to our room doesn’t work, so we trek back to the front desk to find out that the computer is down—we wait for 30 minutes, quieting our ravenous appetite with peanuts until 2:30. Room key finally works—alarm clock doesn’t. We get up at 6:30 am and head back to the airport to pick up our luggage since we have to speak at 9:00 am…. We open the bags, and as suspected, Bill’s sat in the rain ALL night—everything inside is soaking wet. Too late for options, he wears wet clothes to speak—Mr. Congressman is sitting in the audience!

Still, serving God is glorious!

Codes are all around us: computer passwords, bank account access codes… even doors require passwords now! In our work with couples, we noticed that there is an access code a husband can use to unlock his wife’s heart and a code a wife can use to unlock her husband’s heart—but most couples don’t know the code or how to use it; consequently, many marriages end in divorce or simply exist in quiet desperation—all because husbands and wives don’t understand what is going on in the heart and mind of their mate. We wanted to help change that.

Pam and I have learned the importance of understanding our strengths and trusting each other. Pam, for example, is great at coming up with ideas; She calls me the “more skilled” editor. We usually brainstorm content together, then divide topics, create chapters, and assign them. We each write our chapters and then send them to each other to fill in the blanks and add illustrations. Pam tends to add in humor and practical creative activities. We then edit each other’s work. Once the book is out, Pam handles marketing; I handle the presentation technological needs. We create speeches together—usually in the car. We think and talk best enroute!

We think the study guide to the book will help as much as the book itself. The guide equips couples to walk in step with the Holy Spirit and allow God’s spirit to be the great decoder of your mate. Leaders in the public eye, like we are, need to have high functioning skills, especially the ability to tune into the Spirit’s leading. As we work together with our spouse, the Holy Spirit whispers to our hearts—if we listen, life and love just gets better! 　In the same way, as Christian writers we also need to be tuned into the Spirit, so we write what God intends and in the way He planned it!

Yes. For years Bill and I saw money from opposing viewpoints. In the process of writing The Marriage Code, we began to see that we were not fighting over finances, rather, our personalities and motivation styles influenced our view of how to manage money and the purpose of money. Once we figured that out, we created a very unique budget that made adjustments for our motivation styles. For example, I, am very motivated to make memories, so money to me is for family events and needs. I will spontaneously spend it to make family connections. For years that drove Bill crazy until “we” decided to give Pam a “happy memories” line item in our budget. Now Bill knows how much spending to expect, and I feel free to make memories! 　We packed The Marriage Code with all kinds of practical tools like that—things that will resolve long ongoing frustrations and arguments and turn them into strengths instead.

Leave a comment or question for the Farrels below and enter your name for a chance to win a free copy of their book, The Marriage Code. The winner will be announced here, on Facebook, and via email at the end of October.

The Farrels are relationship specialists, international speakers and authors of over 30 books including best selling Men are like Waffles, Women are like Spaghetti. With their characteristic humor, solid wisdom, and practical illustrations, the Farrels will help you use the marriage code to gain entry into your mate’s heart and life. If you want to trade in conflict for connection, use The Marriage Code. New release special:

The Marriage Code: $12 (a $2 savings)

The Marriage Code Study Guide: $7 (a $2 savings)

Code Breaker Couple’s special: $25 (3 book set!)
(One Marriage Code and two study guides – one for him, one for her)

Pam and Bill’s interview on The Marriage Code will be on Focus on the Family radio October 21, 22. Click here to read excerpt.

Click here to download a free chapter. For more information about Pam and Bill Farrel and their resources: www.farrelcommunications.com